Your Self-Talk Determines Your Success or Failure: 3 Ways You Self Sabotage

Today, you will hear about how bad habits of self-talk can sabotage your success and why it's so easy to keep doing it. You also discover the three common forms of destructive self-talk.

Self-talk serves as a navigation system for the journey to appreciation of yourself, leading into success habits. It's no secret that how you speak with yourself has a significant impact on how you experience the world. That is why it is critical to be aware of how you speak to yourself.

The reason why it's so easy to stay in the self-sabotage is that it became a habit from childhood.  You'll learn steps to break those habits here.

Here are the 3 points that covered in this episode:

  1. Three common ways people talk to themselves as a habit to sabotage their success.
  2. How to change your bad habits
  3. Where the emotional habits come from

Putting Down of your Capabilities - Self-deprecation can be harmful to your self-esteem and confidence. This covers both what you say out loud and the mean self-talk you say in your mind. Negative ideas and words can can distort your self-perception. They have an effect on your self-esteem. When you put yourself down in front of others, your comments either make others uncomfortable, or if they're mean, put you down more easily.

Rationalization and Justification of your Major Decisions - This process, especially if spoken out loud to others, is a way to not take responsibility for your choices.  It lowers your self-esteem and takes away your decision-making power. You have left it up to reasons, not needs and wishes.

Thinking You Deserve To Be Punished - Instead of improving your situation and moving away from destructive habits and people, you stay in it. You keep telling yourself over and over, you deserve it.  This is an insidious pattern prevalent in some cultures.  Some people carry on the unjust punishment from childhood and punish themselves later.  

How to prevent negative self-talk? How to change it into positive in order to achieve success?

You can begin to go deeper and establish new thinking patterns. Becoming aware of your negative thinking take practice and effort. Negative thoughts are frequently linked to incorrect ideas.

You can also establish simple coping habits by becoming aware of each time you say it.  One book author says, "cancel, cancel" to help his mind drop the thought.  You can also use the simple act of cutting downwards with your arm in front of you and imagine you released the thought into the Earth.  Last, you can release the thought with some guided meditation found free at 


Standout Quotes:

  • "Putting yourself down to make others feel at ease actually makes them feel uneasy because they can see the truth.”
  • “You are perfect just the way you are. You might want to change things about yourself. But that doesn't mean you're not perfect.”
  • “No one ever deserves poor treatment for any reason whatsoever.”

Key Takeaways:

  • The 3 common things people do that leads into self-sabotage are put downs of your capabilities, rationalization and justification of your major decisions and thinking you deserve to be punished.
  • You don't need to rationalize or justify a single decision. You might argue with yourself in your mind whether you want to do something or not.
  • All forms of destructive self-talk stem from the feeling of being less than, but you are not your divine being perfect in every way.
  • Daily energy hygiene keeps your emotions from sinking, right, because you can be up for a day.

Episode Timeline:

[01:28] 3 Common Self Dialogues that leads to Self-Sabotage

[02:27] Example of self-sabotage

[03:24] Put Downs of Your Capabilities

[05:25] Rationalization and Justification of decisions

[09:06] Thinking You Deserve To Be Punished

[12:02] Self talk is very destructive

[15:27] connect with the task

[16:21] release tension

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